LSAT Here I Come! Well, The First Time Anyway...

So here I am. The night before the horrendous dreaded LSAT exam. All of my days, weekends and nights that I "should" have been studying are rushing back to me now. Playing in my head like bad film noir.

Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Sam Spade: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? - The Maltese Falcon

I have always despised standardized testing. (Check out this article, "How Standardized Testing Damages Education" but I digress) Since the PRE-SAT in high school, I have been punished with testing jim-jams. I was never one to perform poorly grade wise, but always seemed to flop in a room of wooded desks, number 2 pencils and nervous energy. This is my past experience but it does not have to determine my future.

The essence of my fear is without root. Going into this mess, I assured myself that I would go at this as a challenge. Only to see if it was possible. Only to see if I could excel at this exam and get into a reputable law school. I have a career. I have a current method of making money. (Which is ultimately what we all strive for I would think, especially in this economy.) I have dreams and other plans to implement in my life that would allow me to succeed without furthering my education beyond what I have already accomplished. This is all just for "fun". (emphasis on the quotations around fun)

To curb my anxiety further, I have convinced myself that I can always take this exam one more time. Although, I have read several publications alluding to the statistic, many that take the exam more than once gain nothing more but a point increase equal to or less than 5. 5 is better than nothing, besides I don't even know what my score will be to know if this will even be enough or needed to get me where I need to be. The idea to keep in mind above all is that I cannot be fearful or anxious about something that has YET to manifest itself. I owe myself the decency to try my best.

How it all will work out, the future will tell. But I know in the forefront of my being that I am very proud of myself. If anything for getting this far. I have studied for 6 months, while working full time, raising a child and being a wife. Just brushing my teeth in the morning is an accomplishment some days. Thanks for the support to whoever reads this thing. And until we meet again...