Sunday, January 16, 2011

Shut Up Willis: LSAT Update Part II

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

It has taken me 2 months to get enough time to actually take a full length practice test. This took major maneuvers, People. I had to get a baby sitter for 4 hours. Get ink to print the damn thing. Take a mountain of vitamins and herbs to have enough energy to last through it, but I made it.

I climbed the mountain top to my first LSAT score. A wonderful incredible amazing magnanimous.....(drum roll please).... 143.

Isn't that just precious. Boy, I have work to do. I'm not soooo worried about it, given that I haven't even finished the first workbook and I am only getting 1 hour of study time per night. I try and study on lunch breaks but I am getting totally discouraged on bringing my LSAT book to work. Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of several negative comments from the peanut gallery.

It is so interesting how negative energy works. It spreads like venom. And much like venom when someone is infected with it, the most desirable action is the urge to purge that negativity from themselves, which may include spewing it upon others. When certain beings see me, they see a working wife and mother with a young child and grown lady bills. People also see a African American woman with a good career opportunity and a semi good head on her shoulders. Which is great. However, that also means that I am often mistakenly misunderstood to be "stretched too thin" and "incapable of getting better" which means I should be concerned with "not f&%*%ing up what I already have".

I say all this to say, that when I tell people of my ambitions to attend law school it is NOT often met with a supportive ear. It is most often met with a look of confusion, pity and condescending staring. I have received this from family, friends and most especially, people at the firm.  What people don't know about me, is that precise treatment, fuels my fire.

Honestly, I wouldn't be where I am today, if I listened to the Nay-Sayers. If I played it safe, I wouldn't have a lovely family, degrees, great career path or the house with the white picket fence (well, it's white metal but who's counting). When I think about it, I have the American Dream already, living it. But I want more. I never want to be stagnant in my education, my development and my success. I decided that a long time ago that I was never going to be JUST satisfied. So, I will always strive for more. For myself and my family.

But before I shut up the negative Natalies and storm the halls of law school, I have to pass this damn LSAT with a MUCH better score than a poo poo 143. So.......babysitter anyone? Bueller? Bueller?


  1. My first day, at least three of them told me not to go to law school. Part of it, I think, is that they really don't like their job and the stress and the demands upon their personal time that goes with it. I really don't think it's meant maliciously or even personally. That being said, I think that you are capable of excelling as a lawyer, and if that is what you want to do, than you should go for it. Don't let them get you down.

  2. I think you are absoultely right when it comes to some people. I was told not to go by the usual suspects for the reason you have stated. Unfortunately, I have had some unmistaken personal digs as well. I was told and I quote, "You just want to take the LSAT b/c BLANK is taking it. You should just focus on the job you have and perfecting that." I was also told, "Do you really think you can get in? Is this something that you think you can do with a child and a family to run? I don't think this is the best choice "FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU" [Insert scowl here]" Hell, my own mother said I was foolish, selfish and would never be the type of mother that mothers were "in her day". I would say I have had some personal attacks and some of the basic ones, but either way I am going to heed your advice of not letting it get me down. Thanks for the comment.

  3. <3 i'm sorry people suck

  4. It's ok. I've been dealing with it all my life. That's why when I come across amazing beings that are positive, talented, gifted and supportive, I try to be a really loyal good friend to them. It's rare.