LSAT Here I Come! Well, The First Time Anyway...

So here I am. The night before the horrendous dreaded LSAT exam. All of my days, weekends and nights that I "should" have been studying are rushing back to me now. Playing in my head like bad film noir.

Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Sam Spade: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? - The Maltese Falcon

I have always despised standardized testing. (Check out this article, "How Standardized Testing Damages Education" but I digress) Since the PRE-SAT in high school, I have been punished with testing jim-jams. I was never one to perform poorly grade wise, but always seemed to flop in a room of wooded desks, number 2 pencils and nervous energy. This is my past experience but it does not have to determine my future.

The essence of my fear is without root. Going into this mess, I assured myself that I would go at this as a challenge. Only to see if it was possible. Only to see if I could excel at this exam and get into a reputable law school. I have a career. I have a current method of making money. (Which is ultimately what we all strive for I would think, especially in this economy.) I have dreams and other plans to implement in my life that would allow me to succeed without furthering my education beyond what I have already accomplished. This is all just for "fun". (emphasis on the quotations around fun)

To curb my anxiety further, I have convinced myself that I can always take this exam one more time. Although, I have read several publications alluding to the statistic, many that take the exam more than once gain nothing more but a point increase equal to or less than 5. 5 is better than nothing, besides I don't even know what my score will be to know if this will even be enough or needed to get me where I need to be. The idea to keep in mind above all is that I cannot be fearful or anxious about something that has YET to manifest itself. I owe myself the decency to try my best.

How it all will work out, the future will tell. But I know in the forefront of my being that I am very proud of myself. If anything for getting this far. I have studied for 6 months, while working full time, raising a child and being a wife. Just brushing my teeth in the morning is an accomplishment some days. Thanks for the support to whoever reads this thing. And until we meet again...

[Figure] It Out: LSAT Update

As an update: I did not receive the scholarship. [Insert boos and hisses here] I was very disappointed and then immediately afraid wondering how I was going to now pay for this LSAT prep course that everyone says is so important to my success on the test. I am a full time working mother and my husband owns his own business. We have one solid definite income and a second not so solid variable income. Sometimes the variable comes in big packages and other times not so big. So it is very difficult to budget in any extras.

So my brain went into hyper-speed trying to figure all this out. Then, here it comes...the mom-guilt sets in. In the spirit of all things paralegal I research my options: I first considered the Blueprint Prep Course (because of it's pricing and lackadaisical approach) but the reviews I read on Yelp and amongst friends tells me their reputation is not so good. Considering my need to be home with the little momma at night, an online course may be the way to go, it is the cheaper option as well. Testmasters, Powerscore and Princeton Review also have online options. If anyone reading this has any opinion on these programs please let me know!  So I may be saved. Maybe.

Should I even be pursuing a law degree? Am I being selfish even thinking of putting my family in this kind of debt and strain? Do I even think I can make it into law school? Is being a paralegal enough? Should I just wait around for the increase in pay and benifits of my career as it is and just be satisfied with that? I feel like my brain is going to explode. And as any other paralegal would do, I began to research. What other programs are out there? How can I decrease my costs?

As far as my dream in it's entirety, I have decided to keep moving forward as of now. I called my hubby at lunch and he reminded me that my pursuit of law school will help my family's situation in the bigger picture. (God, I love that guy.) Being true to myself and pursuing my dream is what will make me a better person and in turn a better mother. I think.

The quote below was snagged from one Star Jones, Esq's blog:

"You are either ON the way or IN the way...so either way...time to keep it moving! No one every moved on to the next level by standing still. The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."

So another day in the pursuit of perfection.

Will Work For LSAT Prep

I need a miracle!

 I'm really nervous. I'm supposed to find out tomorrow whether or not I received a scholarship for the Blueprint LSAT program.

Shaking in my bunny slippers because I don't know how I am going to afford a LSAT prep course if I don't receive this scholarship.

And I have done my research, believe me... Kaplan, Princeton, TestMasters etc. and they all are $600 - $3,000+! I understand weeding people out of the process of law school. You know, keeping the population down and all that. But this is ridiculous.

I guess the adverse prospective would support the high costs of preparatory programs for the LSAT by simply admitting the fact that you don't actually HAVE to take one. You can just take the LSAT without a program.

To argue with myself... (disclaimer: arguing with yourself is only allowed via the blogsphere. Do not attempt to argue with oneself on a corner, in a mall or any other place in public and out-loud.) I would say that I have interviewed several others that have taken the LSAT and they have bottoms up agreed to NOT take the LSAT without a preparatory course. And a few of my friends at the firm, we shall call them Genius and Guillermo Gordon, had a tremendous increase in their LSAT scores from the Blueprint prep course specifically. So, I researched the courses and they even offer them in Downtown L.A. near our new office that the firm will move to in a month. Perfect Fit! Now, I just need them to cut down the cheddar needed to take the damn thing and I will be on my way.

I have signed up and paid for the December LSATs so I have got to get a move on. What am I doing? Am I mad? Taking this on is just one more thing to worry about. Hell, I'm already just worried about getting the scholarship to just get into a prep course for the LSAT. I haven't even taken the test and I'm already driving myself crazy.

Alice: "You've gone quite mangy, cat... but your grin's a comfort."

Cheshire Cat: "And you've picked up a bit of an attitude, still curious and willing to learn, I hope."