Mother in Florida Killed Her Children For Talking Back. Can We Say Overreacting?

Julie Powers Schenecker, Tampa Florida resident, shot and killed her both of her children for being "mouthy." (ain't that a bitch. Has she met a teenager?)

Schenecker, 50-year-old wife of a U.S. Army colonel, shot her son twice in the head "for talking back" as she drove him to soccer practice. As if that wasn't enough, she then drove home and shot her daughter in the head while she studied at her computer. Investigators believe the teens "never saw it coming." Both were killed with a .38-caliber pistol.

This was a planned double murder, she left a note detailing her plans to kill her disrespectful children and then herself, saying "they talked back and were mouthy and that she was going to take care of it," police said.

Julie Schenecker was jailed and charged with two counts of first-degree murder. Wearing a white jumpsuit, she was led into a county jail later Friday visibly shaking and being supported by a sheriff's deputy.

Can you say stressed out mother to say the least?

A little of this and A little of that

A little bit of mommyhood...

My daughter told me, "I'm sorry, Mommy." this morning. A smile gleamed gracefully across my face. I asked, "Why?, Hunny". "You change my diaper, Mommy. I'm sorry."

A light bulb went off. You see, I tried to change her diaper last night and was pleasantly welcomed with a 30 minute kicking, screaming, fist pumping, red-faced tantrum. As usual and as I read in Parenting Magazine, I stood by and let her have her tantrum giving her a gentle back rub and quietly calming her down. I am used to it by now. So, imagine my surprise when my little 22 month old remembered overnight to tell me she was sorry for her actions. So cute and so needed. That sorry covered me for the past 2 years, including the pain she caused me during childbirth. That sorry may have at least carried me till she's 4 or 5.

A little bit of law student...

While assiduously studying my LSAT prep books, the reading comprehension drills beckoned me to develop my vocabulary. Something fun (Ok, so I know I'm a nerd for thinking this is fun) is that I actually learned some new words. I thought I would share them with you. Here they are...

Lit-to-ral (adjective)
1. Of or pertaining to the shore of a lake, sea, or ocean.

Ach-ro-mat-ic (adjective)

1. Optics (a) free from color. (b) able to emit, transmit, or receive light without seperating it into colors.

Af-fa-ble (adjective)
1. pleasantly easy to approach and to talk to; friendly; cordial; warmly polite
2. showing warmth and friendliness; benign; pleasant

im-bibe (verb)

1. to consume (liquids) by drinking; drink

2. to absorb or soak up, as water, light, or heat

3. to take or receive into the mind, as knowledge, ideas, or the like

Funniest Facebook Conversation Ever...Hint: It Has To Do With Hotties and Coconuts

Oh, It looks so Innocent doesn't it.

Authentic Legal Disclaimer: (not really I just think it sounds legal-ish when I read it aloud) Names and Faces May Be Omitted To Protect The Identities Of Others. (Unless she tells me it's ok, in which case I will edit her back in.)

Her On Tuesday:
Excited about my coconut water I bought today. Loving the benefits coconuts offer.

Mental flash to last saturday, when I went to a Sprouts for the first time. I was so astounded with the invigorating farm produce selection and mesmerized by the all encompassing homeopathy section, that I entered a punch drunk state of being. I found myself grabbing items that I not only didn't need, but I didn't really want either it seems. While in the checkout line, my mommy/wifey beacon glimmered brightly, illuminating this rather large cylindrical display of COCONUT WATER. (It's even named after a organic substance, this must be good for you) So I read the can, great benefits. I check out the other people in my close vicinity also taking several cans. I see that they are on sale so I grab'em. I figure it's worth a shot.

As soon as I get home, I drink awaiting the unadulterated quench mixed with an instantly healthier body. (I have no idea what I thought would happen, I just knew that it would make me better some how.) I drink.

Instantly, I run to the sink and spit it out. This was so gross I couldn't stand it. It tastes like taking the oil bits left in the Italian dressing bottle, mixing it with chicken grease and then mixing it aga with a pina colata and letting that chill on ice for an hour.

Suffice it to say when I saw this comment. I had to respond.

Me on Tuesday: I bought some coconut water and I can't do it, I need some pineapple or something to mix in. I know it's good for me but SO gross.

Her on Tuesday: Is it really Jaz? :( LOL

Me on Tuesday: Well, i think its cuz im not a milk drinker anyway so it grosses me out. lol I bet it's good with rum. (Everything's good with rum)

Her on Tuesday: LMFAO!!! OMG, that defeats the purpose of its benefits!

Me on Wednesday: But so yummy! LOL j/k

I tried to warn her. Time goes on. I forget about the whole conversation, until tonight.

Her on Friday: Coconut water: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESCUSTING

(yes, that many "U"s and that many "E"s)

 I "Like" the comment.

 

Her on Friday: *BARF* Jaz, why didn't you tell me it tastes like what purified horse shit would smell like?

Another Commenter: Oh, I thought you knew. It's great for you..if you can get it down. :/     (apparently, I wasn't the only one punch drunk in the grocery store)

Her on Friday: T, I couldn't get it down. I was so excited the other day to have it in my fridge. Guess them mofos will be in there for decoration...

Me on Friday: I tried to tell you....LMAO LOL LMAO I thought you had tasted it before. It looks appetizing on the outside of the can, tho. LOL LMAO

Another Commenter: LOL...I remember your excitement! I went through the same thing...I threw it away.

Her on Friday: OMFG... I will give you credit for telling me it was nasty, but DAYUM!! Not that grotesque!!!!!

Me on Friday: I mixed it in the baby's milk.

Her on Friday: LMFAO!!! Poor baby J!!! :'(

Me on Friday: Couldn't just let it go to waste. I was so excited about it when I bought it too, I had 5 cans!

Her on Friday: I have 5 also. They'll just have to take up space. Maybe I'll make the cat drink em... LMAO

Me on Friday: It's an acquired taste.

A Different Commenter: that shit is bomb!

Her on Friday: O good. Now my coconut water has a new home!

LOL. *smile*

Working Mommy Rant: Staying Out Of The Asylum

Trying to get Jojo to begin sleeping in her bed, again (yes, again). We were one of those lucky sets of parents blessed with having a baby that slept through the night... for about 5 month out of the 20 months she has been alive. At one point she would sleep from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. without waking once. For the past 2 weeks, she has been waking every couple of hours and when I put her to sleep in my room and attempt to lay her down in her own bed, immediately she snaps up screaming. WTF! We were on a roll, man. Where did this come from?

That's not all. When she IS awake, she is soooo clingy. If I am trying to get housework done, she hits me on the leg saying, "Momma, stop it. play. plaaaaayyy" So, I play a little bit and as soon as I sneak away she follows me. Seriously. The dishes are piled up in the sink and the laundry is a mountain that I am beginning to think I will never get to the end of. It's like she is 2 months old all over again. It's like my life is just her and work and nothing else. I used to be the type of mother that would look down upon those mothers always dropping their children off from babysitter to babysitter for weekend excursions and nightly activities. But I'm beginning to think that having SOME small portion of activity besides my child may be good for me. (Now, I am not giving myself a trifling mother pass to hit the club every night, but I am just considering a monthly movie or book club)

Then the mother guilt kicks in. Should I be complaining about this? Isn't this just motherhood? Isn't she just a baby? Who cares if she has to sleep with you for a little bit to get some sleep, that's your job isn't it? Am I not allowed to be annoyed, tired and irritated by it all? Who the f%&* knows the answers to all these questions? I know I don't. But I do know that I need a break before I become a woman in a orange jumpsuit. I need some room to breathe. So, I am writing this post and watching Sarah Palin's new show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska" which is really adding some amusement to my evening.

I think it's OK to get annoyed at being a mom sometimes as long as you have a plan to make it better and you don't stay glued in that space of unhappiness. See CrazyBabyMomma's Blog Post, "The Good (Enough) Mother". So, my goal has been to get her out the house. If even for an hour, each day when she comes home and on the weekends we go for a little walk. To tire her out a bit more and take in some fresh air. The jury is still out if this is going to work or not. But today I took her to the Rose Garden near USC, I found myself praying as I was walking. Spending some time breathing deep and really thanking God for our blessings we have in our lives. Even though I still had to be around her. I was still having my moment and all was well for a little bit. Maybe the walks are better for me then they are for her. But maybe taking care of me is better for her in the long run anyway. I would hate to have to meet her new husband from the other side of a plated glass window, no sharp objects of course.

Halloween Party Maddness And The Fall of Super Mom

Our attempt at a Halloween Party this year came with the same package most of our life's events come with, a nicely wrapped box of drama. With a red bow of course...

I ambitiously sent the invite for this thing a month in advance. Requested the days off from work month(s) in advance. Bought low priced decorations online weeks in advance. Shopped for party favors, kid activities and recipes also weeks in advance. But what does God do when he hears our plans, laughs right? right.

Maybe I should have looked at the calendar. Then, I would have noticed that we were moving our office the week before this shindig and we WOULDN'T be closing. Which means the same work would have to be done in between packing and unpacking myself and 3 attorneys. Maybe I would have known that each night the week before this party, I would be too dog tired to do any shopping, cleaning or preparing. No No, not me. I'm Super Mom.

Maybe I should have thought about the weather. Then I would have noticed that it was going to rain every single day leading up to the party, including the weekend before. Meaning no outside decorations could have been put up till the day of the party. And dragging my family in the cold to buy shit may not be the most responsible choice. No No, not me. I'm Super Mom.

Maybe I should have bought Jolie's costume. Oh no, I had to get all Martha Stewart Wanna Be and ask an amazing friend of mine (who is just Renaissance amazing woman but that's another post) to make it for me. And no, my dumb overachieving multitasking mother of the year ass didn't stop there. I asked her to make a matching one for me too. Maybe I would have thought about the fact that I would never even get home early enough throughout the week to even get fitted for it. And I in turn for her kindness, would waste her time. No No, not me. I'm Super Mom.

But then the one thing happened that even I, Super Mom, could not have forseen, Jolie getting sick. And oh, no, not just regular sick. Teething, bacterial infection, whining, fever, mommy-don't-put-me-down-or-in-my-own-bed-up-all-night sick. Yea, that's niiiiiiiiice.

2 Hours before the party: What do you get when you mix a stressed, guilty, sleep deprived mommy with a screaming baby in the background and a long "To-Do" list? A healthy heaping of meltdown.

I laughed. I cried. I dramatized. It was better than "Cats" on Broadway.

The thing I just couldn't get past was that I had done all this for Jolie and she wasn't even well enough to enjoy it. She was in teething hell, poor baby. I couldn't focus on anything but that. This was all for her. Then, I collapsed on my bed crying like an orphan child.

As I lay there frazzled, calling and texting all I could to tell them it was cancelled. Certain family and friends began to call back. Worried. Telling me that they still wanted to come, if even to check on us to see that we were OK. The party wasn't important to them. It was our well-being and being together that was the important thing.

Now, I know all this but being told by others is something much better. Especially, when you are in such a fragile state. So, I pulled myself together. Whisked through the rest of the decorations, got the baby dressed in the one finished costume, helped Hubby in the kitchen and put a smile on. The smaller more managable family gathering ended up being a success. Everyone had an amazing time. And I learned yet another lesson.

Super mom is not the truth. Just doing the best I can with the cards I'm dealt is the true miracle.

Still Learning Lessons from Disneyland: 28 Years a Mouseketeer

So, on Saturday, October 2nd, 2010, we braved the world of Disneyland with our daughter for the first time! I thought I would be showing Baby new things and I ended up learning a few things myself.

We were lucky enough to have tickets gifted to us because clearly we would not have been able to afford the $76.00 per person steep as hell price. We  I decided to make the most of the situation and bring the baby while we could get the whole family in for free and also get some time alone so we can ride the adult rides.

The Plan: Bring the Baby in the Morning and then bring her to Grandma's and come back for Mommy/Daddy time. Nothing but a hand stamp and a gallon of gas. Right?

Things that got fu%*'d up:

1. We didn't get there till 10:30, two hours from Baby's nap. The original plan was to get there by 8:00 am, so she could get on all the rides, carefully calibrated on my Disney list.
2. It rained cats and dogs that morning, causing  (1) a bicker fight between hubby and I due to countless erroneous accusations that I did not check the weather.  (2)  Mommy having a four year old's panic attack, fearing my Disney day being rained out (3) cold whiny Baby just irritated by the long car ride.
3. What we didn't check was our local "Out" magazine to realize that it was "Gay Day" at Disneyland and the park would be double crowded (yet filled with quirky red T-shirt sayings)
4. My carefully (and anally) planned list of Baby friendly rides and event schedule quickly went to shit due to us being 2 hours behind schedule and the park being twice as crowded.
5. We did not get to go on the Dumbo ride or It's a Small World.
6. We forgot our tickets when returning to the park for adult time, which allowed us no use of the Fastpasses. And almost caused us non-entry if it wasn't for the Sistagirl Attitude I copped with the Disney line worker.
7. When we begged enough people for tickets, the Fastpass option was closed.

AFTER I HAD A POUT FIT IN FRONTIER LAND,  I REALIZED THIS NEXT LIST:

Things that made it all worth it:

1. Even without a nap Baby lasted till 3p.m. without meltdowns.
2. The rain cleared up to a beautiful sunshine, as soon as we walked into the park. *weird
3. The red t-shirt LGBT community made for a hilarious spotting game!

How could you not love winged and haloed men with shirts so cleverly saying, "Fruit Fly", Makeup wearing, "Queens In Training" and my favorite, "I love my Gay Best Friend"(arrow to...her male buddy..) "I love My Fag Hag". By the end of the night we were wishing we had shirts just so we wouldn't feel left out.

1. Baby did ride her first ever ride, "The Carousel" how classic is that? She also went to the top of Beauty's Castle and had a ball in Toontown.
2. The best part of it all, she got to meet Mickey!

Even though we didn't have Fastpasses we enjoyed long talks while waiting in long lines. Kissed under the firework show, and had a lovely dinner at the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney. What did I learn? To turn my over planning, over analytical mind off. To enjoy my family and just be. I had to learn that without my control, there is still possibility for things to go right. I learned to let go. One step at a time. One step.

I Wanna Go Home, But I Don't Want To Stay There

There are times when I am completely over the heels excited to go home and see my lovely baby and husband. There are times when I am completely horrified. Today, I cannot get out of my seat fast enough. The thought of kissing that little face is branded in my brain like a Grade A stamp on a Bull's Fanny.

Throughout history women have and continue to fight for equal rights. There has always been a teetering balance between what we wanted and what we didn't want to lose. Do we want to have the possibility of being equal to our male counterparts? Yes. Do we also want the right to raise our children and be cared for by our husbands? Yes. Can we have both? Maybe. There was a time in our world where this question of "can I have it all" would have been a breaking point in our negociations with the changing of law.

"I never doubted that equal rights was the right direction. Most reforms, most problems are complicated. But to me there is nothing complicated about ordinary equality." - Alice Paul, Women's Equal Rights activist and major mover in the Equal Rights Amendment.

To Alice it was all black and white. We want equality, bottom line. She didn't comprehend a country that called itself a democracy without ALL of it's people being equal. But all views have it's opponents.

“What I am defending is the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as a wife and mother.” “Feminism is doomed to failure because it is based on an attempt to repeal and restructure human nature.” - Phyllis Schlafly

Women like Phyllis Schlafly, right-wing leader of the Eagle Forum/STOP ERA, played on the same fears that had generated female opposition to woman suffrage. Anti-ERA organizers claimed that the ERA would deny woman’s right to be supported by her husband, privacy rights would be overturned, women would be sent into combat, and abortion rights and homosexual marriages would be upheld. Well, yeah that all comes with it as we see later in history after the 70s when this amendment was being ratified across the states.

Today, we still have this debate. Does being a working mother searching for that equality to her male counterparts constitute giving up her RIGHT to be a proper wife and mother? Does this go so far as to say we are "restructuring human nature"?

I'll be honest...Somedays, I wish I had the option of staying home with the baby. Going on playdates and lunches in the park. But, I don't have that option. I'm not even sure if I could handle that option if it was one. It would be nice for a few days but I would slowly lose my mind. Believe me, at the end of the day, I am rushing to get home and see my family whom I have missed all day. But I enjoy my right to be where I am. I enjoy my right to help provide for my family. Because I don't know what ditch or cardboard box we would be living in if I couldn't.

Totally Misproportioned Rant: Mommy Gone Wild

Just had a amazing spaz session on my husband. It's just something about the fact that when I come home from the career of ultimate organization and order, I walk into chaos at the front door.

I mean he doesn't have to do much. Pick her up from daycare. Give her a nutritious snack. Change her diaper and play with her until I get home. No no no... I come home to a butt naked baby stuffed with cookies and half combed hair.

What now, Daddy of the Year? As you leave and gallivant through the town doing God knows what, I am forced to stay and deal with a baby that won't eat dinner. Overstimulated, Hungry and Cranky, the baby now has to be chased down and tackled to be brought back to reality. Something, I do not have the energy to do.

O.K. Maybe it wasn't that bad. I mean he just left to go help his little cousin out at his high school football game. And he did feed her bananas and apples, not cookies., but all sugar non-the-less. So, it still wasn't dinner but he did play with her on the swing set outside. But she now was sugared to a frenzy with a toy picnic in the living room that I would have to clean up!

I think just after a day of getting a freaking judgment filing done in 4 different counties in Georgia, making calls to various bitchy court clerks about Hearing dates, helping one of the major litigators in your firm find his way to his hotel from the middle of Croatia, all this without a lunch break. You may blow a few things out of proportion. Oh and did I mention I was on my period? Forget about it.

So, when he asked me where the keys where so I could move my car so he could escape the baby zoo I walked into. I told him where to shove them. Well, no really I just snatched them up and moved the car myself. Take that Boo. I am woman hear me roar.

Found on the Web: Mama of the Year Moment

One of the funniest articles I have read in a very long time came from the creative mind of my friend Sarah aka The Crazy Baby Momma. In the spirit of all L.A. Mommas trying to make it with a toddler I belly laughed at her attempt to do the simplist task. Sometimes as a mom we find us having to crack the code of the CIA just to have one moment of normal. In this adventure of Sarah's proves you see this phenomena take place. I just had to re-post an excerpt here for all of you. So here it is, "Mama of the Year Moment: Going out in LA... with Kids!

"In theory, it could have been a lovely evening for the four of us. But Mama of the Year over here forgot to pack snacks. And diapers. And Percoset. I had managed to pack my lipgloss and mirror because I clearly have my priorities straight.

Really, the 12 minute car ride of doom itself should have made us turn around: Benjamin spent most of it screaming like a pig getting, um, violated, but it was Saturday night in LA, and no matter what, I was determined that my friend and I would hit the town. Even if hitting the town meant leaving the kids in the car and cracking a window. Even if hitting the town included an infant and a toddler..."

Check it out here...

Here's to a Stress Free Me

I would love to be here. Suspended. Surrounded by wildlife and air. Stillness.

I spoke to my friend/sorority sister on the phone the other night. Her son is only a few months younger than my 16 month old daughter. We discussed just how stressed we really are trying to hold down the lifestyle we had pre-baby while still trying to be a good Mom. Working, Cleaning, Cooking, Bathing, Reading, Teaching, Scolding, and Maintaining a household. Working, Learning and advancing in our careers. Having a dating life or some sort of sextual intimate connection with a significate other. Then still trying to find a minute for a conversation with a friend or even a drink with an old buddy. Planning activites for the kids on the weekends... Well, you get the picture. "It feels like I'm so busy living my life, that I'm not enjoying my life." She says. As I began to offer UNSOLICITED advice as most humans do, I realized that I needed to grab a fork and eat my words. I am exactly the same way, OMG!

All this the stress must stop. Must S.T.O.P. I am on a personal mission to stop my stress one step at time and of course I will share my journey here.

As I do with anything, I look into the pitfalls prior to leaping. This shady looking website had this bit of advice to offer under the title: "Stress Relief Strategies" Subtext: "(Please print out this document and read it offline.)" Which kinda freaked me out in a dominatrix kinda way. I told you I was stressed.

Some Strategies to Avoid
• Attempting to make everything in life stress-free.
• Focusing on every event and constantly reminding yourself to relax.
• Regularly avoiding the feeling of emotions (e.g., sadness, anger, joy, fear, etc.).
• There are a number of other things which will not work in the long run when used by themselves only -- long vacations, execise, etc.

The type of strategy which tends to work is the combination of gradually and gently trying to change one's habits plus regular practices or situations which help put the body in a relaxed state. Both types of strategies are important in promoting stress reduction.

So that's a start. Here I go.

Mommy's Day! One Down and Many, Many, More to Go!

We finally get to bring her home!