Ode to Granny: Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler

Grandparents, most of the time, are the most amazing persons that walk the earth.  I remember my mother's mother as if she were only alive yesterday.  For more reasons than one, my granny, was a woman to admire.  She was strong, beautiful and brave.  All traits that I hope to have and if I don't, develop within my lifetime.  


My grandmother was not the type of grandmother that took her grandbabies to church on Sundays, carrying a Bible in one hand, and a swear jar in the other.  No. My Granny was the type of grandmother that wore designer clothes, drove with white leather "driving gloves", and bestowed her grandbabies with gifts of quality time. Time that very often included cooking lessons, dancing and singing to classic jazz and black and white movies, and slumber parties.  

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple. With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. 

(excerpt from a poem, "Warning" by Jenny Joseph)

With all her class and grace, My Granny was the type of grandmother that would "cuss a mothafucka out" (excuse my french but My Granny was Creole so sometimes this "cussing" actually came in French so I find it fitting) I loved it! You have to understand, as a kid seeing a woman in her 60s with long silky silver hair walk forcefully back into the store after going to "make grocery," with flowing brightly colored summer dress blazing, just to shake her manicured hand at the butcher behind the counter for improperly cutting her ground beef. You can't help but hide behind her bellowing drappery staring in awe as she tells the unsuspecting gentleman "God don't like ugly, you cooyon muffadie muthafucka you don't gone and shawted me on my meat!" Now, that's what I call a lady. 

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. 

(id)

I struggle. I try to hold on to her memory and channel her spirit and spunk. She always seemed like she was in a bad mood toward everyone but me. To me, she never had a bad day and I saw her everyday of the remainding years of her life. It wasn't until I was older that I even knew of the hard life she had when she was young. How she came to California from New Orleans a refugee from an abusive marriage with a YOUNG child with a NEW husband for a FRESH start. I never knew that there had been poverty, violence and death in the midst of her journey through life. Part of me wishes I knew her then, so I could know how to handle the tough situations in my life as she so triumphantly dealt with hers. 

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. 

(id)

No. I knew her in her golden years. When the past was the past. When what was important was being with her grandbabies, having backyard cookouts, making Gumbo and NOT getting "shawted" on your meat. This is probably best, as I know that there is a life beyond the struggle. She came through strong and fighting for her ability TO BE GOLDEN. This is why I admire her so much, she made being old... look good. 

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. 

(id)

Granted my struggles are nothing compared to hers. For one thing, I am on the other side of the Civil Rights Movement. For another and on a more specific note, I live in the house that she built for me, I have witnessed a healthy marraige between she and my Grandpa, I have seen the DOs and DON'Ts that she has done with her children. But most of all, I have learned that the journey is what is most important, not the destination. (I know it sounds like a bumper sticker, and probably is somewhere, but it's so true when you see it live and in person) In that way, she has given me a kick start and created an avenue for me to have it easier than she. My wish is that when I am old, we could somehow be old together, kickin ass and taking names in the Grocery stores of America.  But I realize that she has given me a legacy to live up to and with that a responsibility to uphold. I must not let her down. 

But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

(id) 

Getting Off My Ass...Halloween Relief

Getting some steam under my ass to start writing again. To be honest, I have been so consumed with life and the choices that I have before me that the additional stress has not allowed me the clarity to write in this blog. Forgive me.

I find myself wanting to do this:
(see right)

When I should be facing my stress head-on, like a joust.

So, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I know last year I had the Halloween party for the kids at the house which was followed by a post with pictures of family fun. See "Halloween Fun Party: For the Little Monsters" and "Halloween Party Maddness And The Fall of Super Mom"  and read again about last year's antics. 

This year the NuNu took one look at the decorations for the party and proceeded to tell me to place them back in the garage. What a bummer. What a relief. I'm disappointed that she was scared by the decorations but I can't lie, I was relieved that I didn't have to orchestrate a Halloween party. I have just been too on edge lately to deal with any of that.

Instead, we dressed her in her Princess costume and took her to meet the princesses at Disneyland. She enjoyed every minute, including seeing the Mickey Parade for the first time. priceless.

Easy peezy. Now, to get through Thanksgiving.

Touched by an Angel

Two weeks ago I lost a friend in a tragic car crash. She was a friend from work that I saw everyday of my life and lunched with at least 3 out of 5 days in a work week. She was killed by a drunk driver on the freeway. Survived by her 17 year old daughter, she was as far as I know a single mom. I am shocked and devastated. 

Prior to this, I hadn't given much thought to drunk drivers. I knew it was wrong, of course. I was aware of the destruction that could be caused by drinking and driving. But it wasn't a cause I put a lot of focus in. Until it affected me directly.

I felt silly crying over a co-worker. I felt like her family and close friends deserved to be more upset than I was. I felt as if I was taking away from them by being upset because I have only known her for a short time. But the truth is that she touched my life in a big way during the small amount of time of knowing her.

As a Latino Lesbian woman, she was out, proud and strong. Not just about her sexual orientation, but her  ethnicity, her New Jersey origin and being a single mom. She was out front and center about who she was. She was also determined to make anyone that spoke to her, just as comfortable as she was in her skin, in theirs.

Without me even telling her and without her knowing me longer than a few months, she tuned into my weaknesses. She could tell that I was a giver and at most times strong and controlled. Not because I want to be, but because I have had to be for so long. She noticed how I am nurturing and overbearing in my relationships with others because I am afraid to let go control to the other person. Not because I want to, but because I fear that others will not be able to pick up the slack I extend. As a control mechanism, I hold it all down so I don't have to feel disappointed. That's pretty deep conversation to have over onion rings. But that was Karen.

She was a counsellor at heart but would sandwich her sessions with hilarious antidotes and wise cracks. She would produce jokes that would make me belly laugh even after I went home for the day.

She made me realize that wanting to accomplish my dream of having career and family was admirable. That I shouldn't feel like I am being selfish in wanting both. She reassured me that it was myself that was torturing myself (Fight Club Style). I should let go, just live life and see what happens. It's refreshing to hear this from a stranger. Without any prior inhibitions or previews of who I used to be clouding her opinion. Worth it's weight in Gold. 

When I heard of her death, I went to the bathroom at work and cried for what seemed like hours. Because I wasn't ready for her to leave this earth. There was a beginning blossom of a beautiful friendship happening. But after time passed, I realized that I was meant to have her in my life for just the amount of time that I did.

I was truly touched by an Angel. Her inspiration has been given. It's up to me to take it from here. And now she can be an Angel to the Universe and help so many other people. Thank you, Karen. Rest in Peace, Friend.

The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun

One Site Every One Should See.

Click This... The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun

Quote For The Day...

Really Good One...

Finding a Twin, Makes Me Feel Inspired



This is not Michelle Williams Court, but the picture goes with the point I'm making. LOL



Totally obsessed with powerful and successful African American women. It is the ultimate high to see women that are making an exceptional spectacle of themselves in a world where men dominate. In law school, women represent 50% of the students. However, women are only 16-18% of the equity partners in law firms. The percentages are not inspirational for a woman that is interested in going into law. One can choose to look at the dirt or look at the roses growing from the dirt. I am not interested in dirt. Because it's, well, not as interesting as the roses.

While researching Loyola Law School, one of my choices for applications this year, I found the student blog section on their website. I figured this would be the best place to look in order to learn more about the opportunities available to the students within the school environment. A student liaison spoke about the Women Lawyers Association of Los Angeles. This is where I found, Michelle Williams Court. A fellow African American female attorney for Bet Tzedek who was named by Daily Journal as one of the Top Women Lawyers Under 40. This is a big deal because Michelle's story grabbed me as it paralleled my experiences growing up. As I did, she grew up in a poverty stricken neighborhood where she was bused into a more influential neighborhood for schooling. This is when she was first introduced to a "different" environment. Like Michelle, this is when I first realized what "different" meant.

The real life education about the disparity that exists in our society between the wealthy and the poor influenced her decision to become a lawyer. To become a lawmaker, a life changer, a people mover. This is also my reason. It feels good to see a woman that looks like me, having the same inspiration and following through. At her firm, Michelle started a receivership program where she helps turn slum properties into affordable housing. Making a step to correct what she saw as a little girl.

Along with our similar dreams, Michelle's personal life mirrors mine as well. She is a mother and a wife. She has only been an attorney for 12 years and is now 39 which means she started law school around the same time I will be. I am so excited I found this article. Just a bit of inspiration to round out the week. If you have a dream, seek out those that are like you that have already achieved it. It is a MAJOR motivator. I know it is for me. Happy Friday.

Project Quary Family Home: Backyard Boogie - Week One



This border area in the yard, Hubby started on Sunday.



Will look like this...We hope.

The Family Quary has decided to remodel our backyard!

After 2 years of living here in our inherited 1929 Californian bungalow home, we have finally decided to do something about the boring lawn stretching from our backdoor to the back wall. At least 2000 sqft of lawn. Yes, we have our work cut out for us.

We currently have a swing set/playground out there and an orange tree. Yup, that's it. We would like to add plants, water features, veggie garden and a patio and barbecue pit. Hubby says he needs a deadline in order to commit to this project so it is currently set for July 23rd.

So piece by piece we will get it done. I got so excited by the small border that he dug up that I ran out to Home Goods and purchased a gardening tool belt, tools, a hose, watering can and other miscellaneous items. I can't wait to have this garden as a serene place to pour all my anxious energy into. This will be the perfect place to work on my personal statements and in the future, my law school papers. It will be fun for Nunu to help plant. It will also give Hubby something else to whine about doing but secretly love. I can't wait. This will definitely be my favorite of the home projects.



LSAT Here I Come! Well, The First Time Anyway...

So here I am. The night before the horrendous dreaded LSAT exam. All of my days, weekends and nights that I "should" have been studying are rushing back to me now. Playing in my head like bad film noir.

Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation...
Sam Spade: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? - The Maltese Falcon

I have always despised standardized testing. (Check out this article, "How Standardized Testing Damages Education" but I digress) Since the PRE-SAT in high school, I have been punished with testing jim-jams. I was never one to perform poorly grade wise, but always seemed to flop in a room of wooded desks, number 2 pencils and nervous energy. This is my past experience but it does not have to determine my future.

The essence of my fear is without root. Going into this mess, I assured myself that I would go at this as a challenge. Only to see if it was possible. Only to see if I could excel at this exam and get into a reputable law school. I have a career. I have a current method of making money. (Which is ultimately what we all strive for I would think, especially in this economy.) I have dreams and other plans to implement in my life that would allow me to succeed without furthering my education beyond what I have already accomplished. This is all just for "fun". (emphasis on the quotations around fun)

To curb my anxiety further, I have convinced myself that I can always take this exam one more time. Although, I have read several publications alluding to the statistic, many that take the exam more than once gain nothing more but a point increase equal to or less than 5. 5 is better than nothing, besides I don't even know what my score will be to know if this will even be enough or needed to get me where I need to be. The idea to keep in mind above all is that I cannot be fearful or anxious about something that has YET to manifest itself. I owe myself the decency to try my best.

How it all will work out, the future will tell. But I know in the forefront of my being that I am very proud of myself. If anything for getting this far. I have studied for 6 months, while working full time, raising a child and being a wife. Just brushing my teeth in the morning is an accomplishment some days. Thanks for the support to whoever reads this thing. And until we meet again...

Quote of the Day...

Quote of the Day...

10 Laws of Power - You Know You Want Some

We all want to learn how to get the one thing that is more important than money but less important than spirituality. What is that? No, it's not Krispy Kremes, it's power. Robert Greene, author of books, "The Art of Seduction" and "The 50th Law" (with 50 cent) and Joost Elffers, author of "Teddy's World" and "How are you peeling?" collaborated on the laws which are a total of 48. I picked out some of my favorites for all of you.

Never Outshine the Master

In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. 

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one

And since this post had a lot of words I leave you with this song:



The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Just a Spoonful of Sugar to Help the Medicine Go Down

Hi Peeps. I know I have been away long. I have been so busy both studying for the LSAT and working my ass off incorporating a new Partner that has been added to my roster of attorneys at work. (I try to spend any free time I have giving love to JoJo Squared)

As you can see, I am awake at 1:00 am on a Friday night, not because I was in the club dancing the night away but studying. In addition to the lethargic reading of logic, I have subjected my body to yet another late night after working for 12 days straight. I must be a masochist.

When I am usually up around this time, I like to Stumble the net. In effort of giving my brain a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. Here are some funny pictures I found tonight. Enjoy them in my apologies for not posting. One week to go...I will be back soon.

"He's Gone Mommy" The Day My Ambition Began

Today I thought of the day my ambition began. I wanted to remember the exact time I decided to start killing myself pushing for constant improvement of myself. No one criticizes me like I criticize me. I am never satisfied with my current situation and I am always looking to strive for more. I had my annual review today at work, it was all high scores and encouraging comments. To the normal person, they would have happily went back to their desk without a second thought.  No no not me. The upward mobility and compensation I was hoping for didn't come together. I work hard, and when I say I work hard, I mean I work hard. I study and I look for improvement in anyway I can. And I am always up for a fight when someone stands in my way. But why is that? Why am I never satisfied with what I have, if even for a moment's time? I think it may be because I am so scared to go back to where I came from. It may also be that I have something to prove to other little girls like me...

The day my father left my mother and I seems like a dream. One luminous afternoon, the kind of late spring afternoons when the sun lazily hangs on your shoulders, and you can play an extra hour outside after your homework is done, it happened. At that time, we lived in a light gray Spanish Colonial style used-to-be-home now apartment building in the back lower level apartment nearest the trash bins. The frequent visitation from a friendly mouse or insect was not far fetched. It was quite the place. My mother and father gave up the privacy of a bedroom for me, while they slept uncomfortably on a pull out couch in the cramped living room. This was the life we were living.

My mother, weary from the day's work and beating sun, opened the heavy iron door. The essence of emptiness smacked us in the face while the vision of tossed belongings sank in our conscience. A hurried trail of clothes led from the closet to the door. My mother ran to the front room closet and flung open the door. She looked right then left then sighed. As I stared at the back of her head, a 9 year old girl with pig tails and overalls, I waited for my next instruction and a straw of understanding.

The magnitude of this occurrence had yet to present itself in my psyche. I moved to put down my backpack under the side table, as I always did, my mind subconsciously grasping for normality. I noticed my father's keys on the table. I picked them up. The rise of my arm from the table to my eye line allowed my brain to catch up and my mother to rest her head on the closet wall. I shook the keys just enough to make a sound and whispered, "He's gone, Mommy."

My mother wailed. This deep moan was heard once before my my ears not more than one year before. That time her loss was her father. Now it was mine. She crossed the room with cement on her feet and hugged me. We sat on the couch, the same as her marital bed and hugged. She said to me, "Jaz'min, Don't you ever depend on a man for anything. Don't you ever let your existence in this world, depend on a man." My memory ends there. This was the day that set the tone for the rest of my life.

To be continued...

He Had A Dream. Do You Think Dr. King Would Be Satisfied?

My first memories of Dr. Martin Luther King are of my 3rd grade play in the multipurpose room at La Tijera elementary school. All 30 kiddies, myself included, recited the "I have a Dream" speech while wearing red sweatsuits and a black pointy hats [I have no idea what the outfits were about]. I remember how it made me feel. So important to have learned the first paragraph of that speech and so incredibly honored that this was a "black man" that wrote it. I was in love with his vision. At the time I only understood it to mean that he believed that all people should be equal, no matter what the color. Since I was repeatedly "mocked" for being a "rainbow" kid because I would enjoy the company of kids that were not always just black on the playground I bought into this dream. I found myself spending lunchtime and recess inside with my Caucasian teacher, Mrs. Leirner grading the other children's papers while she studied for the LSAT (foreshadow anyone?). I enjoyed learning about different religions and traditions. I would grow up to study Japanese in high school and even minor in Asian studies in college. Dr. King inspired me to believe that people could be treated equal as well as become who they wanted. In light of his day, I have reposed his speech here on my blog. Enjoy.

P.S. Do you think Dr. King would be happy with the social and political status of the world today? I do. What do you think?

Shut Up Willis: LSAT Update Part II

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

It has taken me 2 months to get enough time to actually take a full length practice test. This took major maneuvers, People. I had to get a baby sitter for 4 hours. Get ink to print the damn thing. Take a mountain of vitamins and herbs to have enough energy to last through it, but I made it.

I climbed the mountain top to my first LSAT score. A wonderful incredible amazing magnanimous.....(drum roll please).... 143.

Isn't that just precious. Boy, I have work to do. I'm not soooo worried about it, given that I haven't even finished the first workbook and I am only getting 1 hour of study time per night. I try and study on lunch breaks but I am getting totally discouraged on bringing my LSAT book to work. Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of several negative comments from the peanut gallery.

It is so interesting how negative energy works. It spreads like venom. And much like venom when someone is infected with it, the most desirable action is the urge to purge that negativity from themselves, which may include spewing it upon others. When certain beings see me, they see a working wife and mother with a young child and grown lady bills. People also see a African American woman with a good career opportunity and a semi good head on her shoulders. Which is great. However, that also means that I am often mistakenly misunderstood to be "stretched too thin" and "incapable of getting better" which means I should be concerned with "not f&%*%ing up what I already have".

I say all this to say, that when I tell people of my ambitions to attend law school it is NOT often met with a supportive ear. It is most often met with a look of confusion, pity and condescending staring. I have received this from family, friends and most especially, people at the firm.  What people don't know about me, is that precise treatment, fuels my fire.

Honestly, I wouldn't be where I am today, if I listened to the Nay-Sayers. If I played it safe, I wouldn't have a lovely family, degrees, great career path or the house with the white picket fence (well, it's white metal but who's counting). When I think about it, I have the American Dream already, living it. But I want more. I never want to be stagnant in my education, my development and my success. I decided that a long time ago that I was never going to be JUST satisfied. So, I will always strive for more. For myself and my family.


But before I shut up the negative Natalies and storm the halls of law school, I have to pass this damn LSAT with a MUCH better score than a poo poo 143. So.......babysitter anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Working Mommy Rant: Staying Out Of The Asylum

Trying to get Jojo to begin sleeping in her bed, again (yes, again). We were one of those lucky sets of parents blessed with having a baby that slept through the night... for about 5 month out of the 20 months she has been alive. At one point she would sleep from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. without waking once. For the past 2 weeks, she has been waking every couple of hours and when I put her to sleep in my room and attempt to lay her down in her own bed, immediately she snaps up screaming. WTF! We were on a roll, man. Where did this come from?

That's not all. When she IS awake, she is soooo clingy. If I am trying to get housework done, she hits me on the leg saying, "Momma, stop it. play. plaaaaayyy" So, I play a little bit and as soon as I sneak away she follows me. Seriously. The dishes are piled up in the sink and the laundry is a mountain that I am beginning to think I will never get to the end of. It's like she is 2 months old all over again. It's like my life is just her and work and nothing else. I used to be the type of mother that would look down upon those mothers always dropping their children off from babysitter to babysitter for weekend excursions and nightly activities. But I'm beginning to think that having SOME small portion of activity besides my child may be good for me. (Now, I am not giving myself a trifling mother pass to hit the club every night, but I am just considering a monthly movie or book club)

Then the mother guilt kicks in. Should I be complaining about this? Isn't this just motherhood? Isn't she just a baby? Who cares if she has to sleep with you for a little bit to get some sleep, that's your job isn't it? Am I not allowed to be annoyed, tired and irritated by it all? Who the f%&* knows the answers to all these questions? I know I don't. But I do know that I need a break before I become a woman in a orange jumpsuit. I need some room to breathe. So, I am writing this post and watching Sarah Palin's new show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska" which is really adding some amusement to my evening.

I think it's OK to get annoyed at being a mom sometimes as long as you have a plan to make it better and you don't stay glued in that space of unhappiness. See CrazyBabyMomma's Blog Post, "The Good (Enough) Mother". So, my goal has been to get her out the house. If even for an hour, each day when she comes home and on the weekends we go for a little walk. To tire her out a bit more and take in some fresh air. The jury is still out if this is going to work or not. But today I took her to the Rose Garden near USC, I found myself praying as I was walking. Spending some time breathing deep and really thanking God for our blessings we have in our lives. Even though I still had to be around her. I was still having my moment and all was well for a little bit. Maybe the walks are better for me then they are for her. But maybe taking care of me is better for her in the long run anyway. I would hate to have to meet her new husband from the other side of a plated glass window, no sharp objects of course.

Halloween Fun Party: For the Little Monsters

Even though it took a lot of drama to get it off and running, (for a real horror story; see "Halloween Party Maddness and the Fall of Super Mom" post)  the Halloween party was somewhat of a success. It ended up just being a get-together night with close family. But I thought I would share with you some of the highlight shots.

I couldn't get Jolie to sit still long at all so her is a motion shot of her adorable costume, Tinkerbell! I was interested in all the other costumes that would arrive to the party but once the word was out that this would be a more chill affair we only had a few adults with costumes, one sheriff and a house full of fairies.  My hubby was Prince Naveen and I, Tiana, both pre-froggy of course. He is pictured to my left with Lil Wayne. Don't let me forget, Nicki Minaj! (pictured below, right).

One thing that did save me from complete oblivion was the Potluck style party. So much food! We had homemade spaghetti with meat sauce (two kinds!), shrimp with white wine sauce lasagna, lemon chicken lasagna, fresh made salad and garlic bread. Spinach dip, Goat cheese and crackers, popcorn, jello shots (non-alcholic of course), fresh fruit and animal crackers for the kids. I only had fruit snacks and candy corn for everyone because I didn't want to go too candy crazy. Oh, an we can't forget the cupcakes, thanks Cousin Jessica!



After eating the kids had an opportunity to decorate their own mini pumpkins with stickers, markers and puffy paint! They had a pretty messy and fun time. And the result of the pumpkins was, well, interesting to see. The adults relaxed on the couch and watched "Avatar" (something Halloween-y) due to the excessive make-up but not to scary for the children, and drank hot apple cider.

It was a nice evening, and I'm glad we did it all. Thank you family for coming.

Still Learning Lessons from Disneyland: 28 Years a Mouseketeer

So, on Saturday, October 2nd, 2010, we braved the world of Disneyland with our daughter for the first time! I thought I would be showing Baby new things and I ended up learning a few things myself.

We were lucky enough to have tickets gifted to us because clearly we would not have been able to afford the $76.00 per person steep as hell price. We  I decided to make the most of the situation and bring the baby while we could get the whole family in for free and also get some time alone so we can ride the adult rides.

The Plan: Bring the Baby in the Morning and then bring her to Grandma's and come back for Mommy/Daddy time. Nothing but a hand stamp and a gallon of gas. Right?

Things that got fu%*'d up:

1. We didn't get there till 10:30, two hours from Baby's nap. The original plan was to get there by 8:00 am, so she could get on all the rides, carefully calibrated on my Disney list.
2. It rained cats and dogs that morning, causing  (1) a bicker fight between hubby and I due to countless erroneous accusations that I did not check the weather.  (2)  Mommy having a four year old's panic attack, fearing my Disney day being rained out (3) cold whiny Baby just irritated by the long car ride.
3. What we didn't check was our local "Out" magazine to realize that it was "Gay Day" at Disneyland and the park would be double crowded (yet filled with quirky red T-shirt sayings)
4. My carefully (and anally) planned list of Baby friendly rides and event schedule quickly went to shit due to us being 2 hours behind schedule and the park being twice as crowded.
5. We did not get to go on the Dumbo ride or It's a Small World.
6. We forgot our tickets when returning to the park for adult time, which allowed us no use of the Fastpasses. And almost caused us non-entry if it wasn't for the Sistagirl Attitude I copped with the Disney line worker.
7. When we begged enough people for tickets, the Fastpass option was closed.

AFTER I HAD A POUT FIT IN FRONTIER LAND,  I REALIZED THIS NEXT LIST:

Things that made it all worth it:

1. Even without a nap Baby lasted till 3p.m. without meltdowns.
2. The rain cleared up to a beautiful sunshine, as soon as we walked into the park. *weird
3. The red t-shirt LGBT community made for a hilarious spotting game!

How could you not love winged and haloed men with shirts so cleverly saying, "Fruit Fly", Makeup wearing, "Queens In Training" and my favorite, "I love my Gay Best Friend"(arrow to...her male buddy..) "I love My Fag Hag". By the end of the night we were wishing we had shirts just so we wouldn't feel left out.

1. Baby did ride her first ever ride, "The Carousel" how classic is that? She also went to the top of Beauty's Castle and had a ball in Toontown.
2. The best part of it all, she got to meet Mickey!

Even though we didn't have Fastpasses we enjoyed long talks while waiting in long lines. Kissed under the firework show, and had a lovely dinner at the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney. What did I learn? To turn my over planning, over analytical mind off. To enjoy my family and just be. I had to learn that without my control, there is still possibility for things to go right. I learned to let go. One step at a time. One step.

The Journey Begins: Getting Personal, Law School Style

Today I went to the Law School Admissions Council Forum. It was a culmination of all the law schools across the country in one room with their admissions counselors available for questioning.

There were a few seminars which provided panels and options for Q & A on various subjects. I chose to attend the seminar on "How to get the best of this forum" (because I never know what to do at these things), "The Application Process" (because I am totally intimidated by the massive applications that law schools present) and "Diversity in Law Schools" (obviously because I'm Black or African American, whichever makes you more comfortable.)

Overall it was awesome to be in the trenches with my fellow prospective students (Nervous Nellies). Hoarding of admissions officers, long lines, hot rooms filled with blazers and hairspray, massive amounts of school marketing materials was the name of the game. Oddly enough, I loved it! It was so exciting to be in the land of learning again. Just the gathering of information about my future school experience gave me a whiff future accomplishment. Oh the sweet smell of baking accomplishment.

As I sit now folding the baby's clothes, (because reading any of those materials proves impossible due to the baby and husband constantly interrupting my efforts) I realize that my brain is in information overload. Tossing back and forth all the facts and figures of each institution. Median LSAT scores, Average GPAs and Class Sizes. A mesh of the various program options, school admissions application schedules and student organizations floats before my fore mind. Where will I go? What will it be like? Something to ponder and something to look forward to, The journey begins.