Ode to Granny: Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler

Grandparents, most of the time, are the most amazing persons that walk the earth.  I remember my mother's mother as if she were only alive yesterday.  For more reasons than one, my granny, was a woman to admire.  She was strong, beautiful and brave.  All traits that I hope to have and if I don't, develop within my lifetime.  


My grandmother was not the type of grandmother that took her grandbabies to church on Sundays, carrying a Bible in one hand, and a swear jar in the other.  No. My Granny was the type of grandmother that wore designer clothes, drove with white leather "driving gloves", and bestowed her grandbabies with gifts of quality time. Time that very often included cooking lessons, dancing and singing to classic jazz and black and white movies, and slumber parties.  

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple. With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. 

(excerpt from a poem, "Warning" by Jenny Joseph)

With all her class and grace, My Granny was the type of grandmother that would "cuss a mothafucka out" (excuse my french but My Granny was Creole so sometimes this "cussing" actually came in French so I find it fitting) I loved it! You have to understand, as a kid seeing a woman in her 60s with long silky silver hair walk forcefully back into the store after going to "make grocery," with flowing brightly colored summer dress blazing, just to shake her manicured hand at the butcher behind the counter for improperly cutting her ground beef. You can't help but hide behind her bellowing drappery staring in awe as she tells the unsuspecting gentleman "God don't like ugly, you cooyon muffadie muthafucka you don't gone and shawted me on my meat!" Now, that's what I call a lady. 

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. 

(id)

I struggle. I try to hold on to her memory and channel her spirit and spunk. She always seemed like she was in a bad mood toward everyone but me. To me, she never had a bad day and I saw her everyday of the remainding years of her life. It wasn't until I was older that I even knew of the hard life she had when she was young. How she came to California from New Orleans a refugee from an abusive marriage with a YOUNG child with a NEW husband for a FRESH start. I never knew that there had been poverty, violence and death in the midst of her journey through life. Part of me wishes I knew her then, so I could know how to handle the tough situations in my life as she so triumphantly dealt with hers. 

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. 

(id)

No. I knew her in her golden years. When the past was the past. When what was important was being with her grandbabies, having backyard cookouts, making Gumbo and NOT getting "shawted" on your meat. This is probably best, as I know that there is a life beyond the struggle. She came through strong and fighting for her ability TO BE GOLDEN. This is why I admire her so much, she made being old... look good. 

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. 

(id)

Granted my struggles are nothing compared to hers. For one thing, I am on the other side of the Civil Rights Movement. For another and on a more specific note, I live in the house that she built for me, I have witnessed a healthy marraige between she and my Grandpa, I have seen the DOs and DON'Ts that she has done with her children. But most of all, I have learned that the journey is what is most important, not the destination. (I know it sounds like a bumper sticker, and probably is somewhere, but it's so true when you see it live and in person) In that way, she has given me a kick start and created an avenue for me to have it easier than she. My wish is that when I am old, we could somehow be old together, kickin ass and taking names in the Grocery stores of America.  But I realize that she has given me a legacy to live up to and with that a responsibility to uphold. I must not let her down. 

But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

(id) 

Hey It's Valentine's Day, and I Didn't Get Arrested!

Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers out there. No matter whether your married, boo'ed up, or supa-fly and single...Happy Valentine's / Single's Awareness Day!!! Make sure to surround yourself with love, wherever you may find it! 

The longer I am married the more I realize that nothing is that serious, time-sensitive or high-pressured anymore when it comes to holidays, especially Valentine's Day. Hubby and I are perfectly happy waiting for the weekend to go to dinner or on any other type of date because we realize that (1) the price mark-up and crowds will no longer be a problem and (2) it will be more convenient for our baby sitter. And let's face it, we are all just overall better people and easier to be around on the weekends. But Guess what? If the weekend comes and goes and we still don't get to it, there will be another Valentine's Day next year. 


MY FAVORITE ROMANCE MOVIES: Love Jones, Lady & The Tramp, (and the new favorite) Wall-E, Titanic & Love Actually


MY FAVORITE ROMANCE STORIES: Memoirs of A Geisha, The Notebook, Romeo & Juliet 


ALL TIME FAVORITE COUPLES: Ruby Dee & Ossie Davis, Barak and Michelle Obama and Cliff and Claire Huxtable (I know they are not real but It's my blog and I can put them if I want) 

This year, so far, we opted to stay in. Nunu and I made Hubby a heart shaped cake. Hubby brought home dinner from one of our fav restaurants and we ate at the dining room table together as a family. Then, we all danced in the living room to Black Eyed Peas, until someone had a tantrum because she ran out of Nerds candies. 


I know this is sort of a boring post given my unexciting romance life, but at least I didn't get arrested for being naked and bound in the back of a Subaru. However, I will end the night tied to something and enjoying it in the comforts of my own bedroom, and that friends would be what we call, "Grown Folks Business" and the content for another type of blog entirely. Have a great night and Happy Valentine's Day! 

Touched by an Angel

Two weeks ago I lost a friend in a tragic car crash. She was a friend from work that I saw everyday of my life and lunched with at least 3 out of 5 days in a work week. She was killed by a drunk driver on the freeway. Survived by her 17 year old daughter, she was as far as I know a single mom. I am shocked and devastated. 

Prior to this, I hadn't given much thought to drunk drivers. I knew it was wrong, of course. I was aware of the destruction that could be caused by drinking and driving. But it wasn't a cause I put a lot of focus in. Until it affected me directly.

I felt silly crying over a co-worker. I felt like her family and close friends deserved to be more upset than I was. I felt as if I was taking away from them by being upset because I have only known her for a short time. But the truth is that she touched my life in a big way during the small amount of time of knowing her.

As a Latino Lesbian woman, she was out, proud and strong. Not just about her sexual orientation, but her  ethnicity, her New Jersey origin and being a single mom. She was out front and center about who she was. She was also determined to make anyone that spoke to her, just as comfortable as she was in her skin, in theirs.

Without me even telling her and without her knowing me longer than a few months, she tuned into my weaknesses. She could tell that I was a giver and at most times strong and controlled. Not because I want to be, but because I have had to be for so long. She noticed how I am nurturing and overbearing in my relationships with others because I am afraid to let go control to the other person. Not because I want to, but because I fear that others will not be able to pick up the slack I extend. As a control mechanism, I hold it all down so I don't have to feel disappointed. That's pretty deep conversation to have over onion rings. But that was Karen.

She was a counsellor at heart but would sandwich her sessions with hilarious antidotes and wise cracks. She would produce jokes that would make me belly laugh even after I went home for the day.

She made me realize that wanting to accomplish my dream of having career and family was admirable. That I shouldn't feel like I am being selfish in wanting both. She reassured me that it was myself that was torturing myself (Fight Club Style). I should let go, just live life and see what happens. It's refreshing to hear this from a stranger. Without any prior inhibitions or previews of who I used to be clouding her opinion. Worth it's weight in Gold. 

When I heard of her death, I went to the bathroom at work and cried for what seemed like hours. Because I wasn't ready for her to leave this earth. There was a beginning blossom of a beautiful friendship happening. But after time passed, I realized that I was meant to have her in my life for just the amount of time that I did.

I was truly touched by an Angel. Her inspiration has been given. It's up to me to take it from here. And now she can be an Angel to the Universe and help so many other people. Thank you, Karen. Rest in Peace, Friend.

Quote For The Day...

Really Good One...

Project Quary Family Home: Backyard Boogie - Week One



This border area in the yard, Hubby started on Sunday.



Will look like this...We hope.

The Family Quary has decided to remodel our backyard!

After 2 years of living here in our inherited 1929 Californian bungalow home, we have finally decided to do something about the boring lawn stretching from our backdoor to the back wall. At least 2000 sqft of lawn. Yes, we have our work cut out for us.

We currently have a swing set/playground out there and an orange tree. Yup, that's it. We would like to add plants, water features, veggie garden and a patio and barbecue pit. Hubby says he needs a deadline in order to commit to this project so it is currently set for July 23rd.

So piece by piece we will get it done. I got so excited by the small border that he dug up that I ran out to Home Goods and purchased a gardening tool belt, tools, a hose, watering can and other miscellaneous items. I can't wait to have this garden as a serene place to pour all my anxious energy into. This will be the perfect place to work on my personal statements and in the future, my law school papers. It will be fun for Nunu to help plant. It will also give Hubby something else to whine about doing but secretly love. I can't wait. This will definitely be my favorite of the home projects.



Why Is My Kid In A Cap and Gown?

Today was difficult for me. A friend texted a picture of the NuNu in a cap and gown holding a certificate. Now, to anyone that may not know any different this may seem innocent. My first thought and response to this picture was "OOOOOOKKKKK, why is my kid in a cap and gown?" Her response was that she was having a graduation ceremony at the local library. Cute. But why wasn't I there? Someone neglected to tell me about it.

The daycare that NuNu attends is at a woman's home. She has approximately 20 children and 5 helpers. She is a very sweet older lady with a stern hand. I love how NuNu has developed over the year she has been in attendance. She knows her letters, numbers, shapes and colors. She has great communication and social skills as well as incredible motor skills. She is all in all a relatively smart kid. The facility is clean and warm. Everyone that works there seems to genuinely enjoy the children. I have been pretty happy with her being there. Except for one thing... communication with the parents.

There are no calendars or newsletters that go out to us parents to make sure we know what is up and coming in our children's lives. It usually is no big deal. Or at least I tell my control freak-ness to stay at bay and PRETEND it is NO big DEAL. She tells us the day of the field trip if they are going on one. The most notice she has ever given us is maybe a day or two but that type of notice hasn't been often. But to miss an event like this, is NOT OK.

Not only did I not know that the graduation happened. I don't know WHERE it happened or WHAT it was for. I am not sure what she was thinking. Did she think I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal? That I wouldn't want to come? Did she think there wouldn't be enough room for all the parents? IDK But what I do know is that it was not her decision to think for me. What I also know is that the first time my baby had a graduation gown on with a hat and tassel, I missed it. I wasn't there. And call me a weirdo, it BROKE my heart. I cried and raged.

Needless to say, I will be talking to the daycare owner tomorrow about the situation. I am going to offer her my services as a member of the parents to assist with calendaring. If she doesn't have the staff and the time to do it, I will be there to help. But this can never happen again. In the meantime, I will be looking for a new preschool.

Quote of the Day...

Quote of the Day...

10 Laws of Power - You Know You Want Some

We all want to learn how to get the one thing that is more important than money but less important than spirituality. What is that? No, it's not Krispy Kremes, it's power. Robert Greene, author of books, "The Art of Seduction" and "The 50th Law" (with 50 cent) and Joost Elffers, author of "Teddy's World" and "How are you peeling?" collaborated on the laws which are a total of 48. I picked out some of my favorites for all of you.

Never Outshine the Master

In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. 

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one

And since this post had a lot of words I leave you with this song:



The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Just a Spoonful of Sugar to Help the Medicine Go Down

Hi Peeps. I know I have been away long. I have been so busy both studying for the LSAT and working my ass off incorporating a new Partner that has been added to my roster of attorneys at work. (I try to spend any free time I have giving love to JoJo Squared)

As you can see, I am awake at 1:00 am on a Friday night, not because I was in the club dancing the night away but studying. In addition to the lethargic reading of logic, I have subjected my body to yet another late night after working for 12 days straight. I must be a masochist.

When I am usually up around this time, I like to Stumble the net. In effort of giving my brain a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. Here are some funny pictures I found tonight. Enjoy them in my apologies for not posting. One week to go...I will be back soon.

Funniest Facebook Conversation Ever...Hint: It Has To Do With Hotties and Coconuts

Oh, It looks so Innocent doesn't it.

Authentic Legal Disclaimer: (not really I just think it sounds legal-ish when I read it aloud) Names and Faces May Be Omitted To Protect The Identities Of Others. (Unless she tells me it's ok, in which case I will edit her back in.)

Her On Tuesday:
Excited about my coconut water I bought today. Loving the benefits coconuts offer.

Mental flash to last saturday, when I went to a Sprouts for the first time. I was so astounded with the invigorating farm produce selection and mesmerized by the all encompassing homeopathy section, that I entered a punch drunk state of being. I found myself grabbing items that I not only didn't need, but I didn't really want either it seems. While in the checkout line, my mommy/wifey beacon glimmered brightly, illuminating this rather large cylindrical display of COCONUT WATER. (It's even named after a organic substance, this must be good for you) So I read the can, great benefits. I check out the other people in my close vicinity also taking several cans. I see that they are on sale so I grab'em. I figure it's worth a shot.

As soon as I get home, I drink awaiting the unadulterated quench mixed with an instantly healthier body. (I have no idea what I thought would happen, I just knew that it would make me better some how.) I drink.

Instantly, I run to the sink and spit it out. This was so gross I couldn't stand it. It tastes like taking the oil bits left in the Italian dressing bottle, mixing it with chicken grease and then mixing it aga with a pina colata and letting that chill on ice for an hour.

Suffice it to say when I saw this comment. I had to respond.

Me on Tuesday: I bought some coconut water and I can't do it, I need some pineapple or something to mix in. I know it's good for me but SO gross.

Her on Tuesday: Is it really Jaz? :( LOL

Me on Tuesday: Well, i think its cuz im not a milk drinker anyway so it grosses me out. lol I bet it's good with rum. (Everything's good with rum)

Her on Tuesday: LMFAO!!! OMG, that defeats the purpose of its benefits!

Me on Wednesday: But so yummy! LOL j/k

I tried to warn her. Time goes on. I forget about the whole conversation, until tonight.

Her on Friday: Coconut water: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESCUSTING

(yes, that many "U"s and that many "E"s)

 I "Like" the comment.

 

Her on Friday: *BARF* Jaz, why didn't you tell me it tastes like what purified horse shit would smell like?

Another Commenter: Oh, I thought you knew. It's great for you..if you can get it down. :/     (apparently, I wasn't the only one punch drunk in the grocery store)

Her on Friday: T, I couldn't get it down. I was so excited the other day to have it in my fridge. Guess them mofos will be in there for decoration...

Me on Friday: I tried to tell you....LMAO LOL LMAO I thought you had tasted it before. It looks appetizing on the outside of the can, tho. LOL LMAO

Another Commenter: LOL...I remember your excitement! I went through the same thing...I threw it away.

Her on Friday: OMFG... I will give you credit for telling me it was nasty, but DAYUM!! Not that grotesque!!!!!

Me on Friday: I mixed it in the baby's milk.

Her on Friday: LMFAO!!! Poor baby J!!! :'(

Me on Friday: Couldn't just let it go to waste. I was so excited about it when I bought it too, I had 5 cans!

Her on Friday: I have 5 also. They'll just have to take up space. Maybe I'll make the cat drink em... LMAO

Me on Friday: It's an acquired taste.

A Different Commenter: that shit is bomb!

Her on Friday: O good. Now my coconut water has a new home!

LOL. *smile*

Tales From The Paper-Cut Trenches: Battle Of The Copies

So, today. I sit minding my business at my desk when I hear the distant drag of cheap Sears brand flats shuffling across the office floor. You know, that "Sista Attitude" walk that every divorcee' over 50 gets. (No offense to divorcee's over 50 but some of you are really bitter about life, which I'm sure you should be, but it shows in your walk, all that baggage of anger you carry around) She stops at my desk, my heart drops in anticipation of drama.

"Little Missy... I am doing that filing of the initial documents in Central District. I know you do Federal Court all the time, How many copies do I need?" says Esther, in the sweetest voice she can muster which sounds like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the East and Wednesday Adams. Oh and yes, she does call me Little Missy. Like I am a damn dog. "You need 4. The original which needs to be filed in duplicate, the chambers copy for the Judge and a copy to be conformed and returned to you."

She looks at me confused. "Well, I already have 3 printed. One for conforming, one courtesy copy and my original. Why do I need another copy? Where did you read that?" Annoyance level has now gone up to 2. I wanted to respond. "You asked me a question. Why do I now have to stop what I am doing and be quizzed?" Instead, I stayed cool. I promptly showed her the Local Rule of the court. It states anything you file  with the court in paper format, needs to have an additional copy sent to chambers. I also showed her the General Order that states that the documents need to be filed in duplicate. In case she wasn't following, I told her when you add the three and the one you want back that makes 4. "That's not what it says, they mean for electronic copies" Annoyance level at 3. How should one respond to that comment? Words, especially court rules, say what they say very clearly. It's not the Bible, it does not warrant it self to be interpreted according to the level of work you feel like doing. Just make another copy and call it a day. Stop being lazy. So, I tell her, "I have always made 4 copies, I have never had a problem with my filings. It doesn't take that much time to make another copy. What can it hurt?" She replies, "Nothing I guess, but you just shouldn't be doing all the extra work when we have so many copies." She storms off into the sunset. I think it's over and I feel like I was just on trial.

Mid-Afternoon, I have completed maybe 15 more tasks, had lunch and a cigarette break. I hear the pitter-patter of the Annoyance Parade approaching again. "I found this rule" slam on my desk as if it is a decree dismissing a man from death-row, "It states that you only need 2 copies" So, I amuse her and read it. "Yes, Esther" I reply, trying to hide my now Annoyance level of 6. I am appalled that she spent so much time trying to fight me when the time would have been better spent just making another copy and moving on to another assignment. "It is the same Local Rule I showed you earlier, the part about the extra copy is a section from the General Rule which is a separate set of rules. Listen, I have been filing District Filings for over a year, I have always filed them this way, I have never had a problem. If you want to only send 3, send 3, it's up to you, it's your filing. I am going to keep doing it the way I have been because there is nothing wrong with it." She leaves. Quietly. If steam could come out of her ears, I could have made kettle corn for all the kids at my Halloween Party. Score!

Tales from the Paper-Cut Trenches: Esther the Cranky

I think it's time to tell some tales of my days at work. There are always stories of genuine interest, exciting intrigue oh, and haterism.

There are many annoying people at work. I mean who doesn't have annoying people at their office. But I have one person in particular, Esther.

Oh boy, Esther. She is the type of person that every budding career starting guppy fears. The bitter experienced person that is assigned to show you the ropes and make you feel at home but secretly hates the shit out of you because you are a faster, younger and smarter model of what they used to be. Think how Madonna must feel standing next to Lady GaGa, sure she isn't above cutting a single with her since she knows it will make her a buck but she is not above punching her in the ovaries if she had the chance. That's Esther.

Side Note: At work, I am a machine. I get a task, I complete it. I rename the email that I recieved with the task "(Completed)" I drag it into my "Completed Tasks" folder and I move on to the next task. In my downtime, I read the rules for all the court juristictions that I have cases in. If that's done, I go through all my cases double checking my calendaring, filing and documents. I don't ever waste time wondering why an attorney wants something done, why the court wants something a certain way or any of that Jazz. I just do it. I'm a doer. Not a complainer. I HATE COMPLAINERS. Esther is a Certified Guaranteed Complainer.

She complains when she gets to work about the traffic. She complains about her lack of sleep before she left work because she had to get in the traffic. She complains about the work she gets when she gets TO work.
I will talk more of her in future posts. I just thought I should introduce her.

Still Learning Lessons from Disneyland: 28 Years a Mouseketeer

So, on Saturday, October 2nd, 2010, we braved the world of Disneyland with our daughter for the first time! I thought I would be showing Baby new things and I ended up learning a few things myself.

We were lucky enough to have tickets gifted to us because clearly we would not have been able to afford the $76.00 per person steep as hell price. We  I decided to make the most of the situation and bring the baby while we could get the whole family in for free and also get some time alone so we can ride the adult rides.

The Plan: Bring the Baby in the Morning and then bring her to Grandma's and come back for Mommy/Daddy time. Nothing but a hand stamp and a gallon of gas. Right?

Things that got fu%*'d up:

1. We didn't get there till 10:30, two hours from Baby's nap. The original plan was to get there by 8:00 am, so she could get on all the rides, carefully calibrated on my Disney list.
2. It rained cats and dogs that morning, causing  (1) a bicker fight between hubby and I due to countless erroneous accusations that I did not check the weather.  (2)  Mommy having a four year old's panic attack, fearing my Disney day being rained out (3) cold whiny Baby just irritated by the long car ride.
3. What we didn't check was our local "Out" magazine to realize that it was "Gay Day" at Disneyland and the park would be double crowded (yet filled with quirky red T-shirt sayings)
4. My carefully (and anally) planned list of Baby friendly rides and event schedule quickly went to shit due to us being 2 hours behind schedule and the park being twice as crowded.
5. We did not get to go on the Dumbo ride or It's a Small World.
6. We forgot our tickets when returning to the park for adult time, which allowed us no use of the Fastpasses. And almost caused us non-entry if it wasn't for the Sistagirl Attitude I copped with the Disney line worker.
7. When we begged enough people for tickets, the Fastpass option was closed.

AFTER I HAD A POUT FIT IN FRONTIER LAND,  I REALIZED THIS NEXT LIST:

Things that made it all worth it:

1. Even without a nap Baby lasted till 3p.m. without meltdowns.
2. The rain cleared up to a beautiful sunshine, as soon as we walked into the park. *weird
3. The red t-shirt LGBT community made for a hilarious spotting game!

How could you not love winged and haloed men with shirts so cleverly saying, "Fruit Fly", Makeup wearing, "Queens In Training" and my favorite, "I love my Gay Best Friend"(arrow to...her male buddy..) "I love My Fag Hag". By the end of the night we were wishing we had shirts just so we wouldn't feel left out.

1. Baby did ride her first ever ride, "The Carousel" how classic is that? She also went to the top of Beauty's Castle and had a ball in Toontown.
2. The best part of it all, she got to meet Mickey!

Even though we didn't have Fastpasses we enjoyed long talks while waiting in long lines. Kissed under the firework show, and had a lovely dinner at the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney. What did I learn? To turn my over planning, over analytical mind off. To enjoy my family and just be. I had to learn that without my control, there is still possibility for things to go right. I learned to let go. One step at a time. One step.

Here's to a Stress Free Me

I would love to be here. Suspended. Surrounded by wildlife and air. Stillness.

I spoke to my friend/sorority sister on the phone the other night. Her son is only a few months younger than my 16 month old daughter. We discussed just how stressed we really are trying to hold down the lifestyle we had pre-baby while still trying to be a good Mom. Working, Cleaning, Cooking, Bathing, Reading, Teaching, Scolding, and Maintaining a household. Working, Learning and advancing in our careers. Having a dating life or some sort of sextual intimate connection with a significate other. Then still trying to find a minute for a conversation with a friend or even a drink with an old buddy. Planning activites for the kids on the weekends... Well, you get the picture. "It feels like I'm so busy living my life, that I'm not enjoying my life." She says. As I began to offer UNSOLICITED advice as most humans do, I realized that I needed to grab a fork and eat my words. I am exactly the same way, OMG!

All this the stress must stop. Must S.T.O.P. I am on a personal mission to stop my stress one step at time and of course I will share my journey here.

As I do with anything, I look into the pitfalls prior to leaping. This shady looking website had this bit of advice to offer under the title: "Stress Relief Strategies" Subtext: "(Please print out this document and read it offline.)" Which kinda freaked me out in a dominatrix kinda way. I told you I was stressed.

Some Strategies to Avoid
• Attempting to make everything in life stress-free.
• Focusing on every event and constantly reminding yourself to relax.
• Regularly avoiding the feeling of emotions (e.g., sadness, anger, joy, fear, etc.).
• There are a number of other things which will not work in the long run when used by themselves only -- long vacations, execise, etc.

The type of strategy which tends to work is the combination of gradually and gently trying to change one's habits plus regular practices or situations which help put the body in a relaxed state. Both types of strategies are important in promoting stress reduction.

So that's a start. Here I go.